Earthships

Have you ever heard of an Earthship? I hadn't until my brother married a girl from New Zealand. Her family has spent the last 5 years building their earthship, a house built of tires and other recycled materials. Living in the bush, they are off the main power grid and are pretty self sufficient.  To find out more check out her families newly redesigned blog. 

My brother and his wife just got back from spending three months there. Every time they come back from visiting, I am jealous of the stories they have. My brother has experienced things there that I will never have the chance to experience unless I make it over to New Zealand someday. I am not saying I want to go through everything he has been through, some things I hope never to experience, but again there is something so exotic about the whole thing that I can't stop feeling like I am missing out on something great. 

In fact, have you seen "The Way?" If not, I recommend it. Thinking about the earthship reminded me of this movie; of the characters whose lives changed as they hiked the El Camino for months at a time. How, by the end of the movie, I yearned for a similar experience. 

I've also dreamed of biking through Germany along the Rhine River. One word comes to mind to describe this experience - breathtaking - a word that could be used to describe both how hard and how amazing it would be. 

There is something so grand in the idea of giving up the comforts of life to commune with mother nature. Something I yearn for despite how much I care for the comfort and ease of life. 

Thoughts on Independence in Marriage

When the hubby and I first got married, one of the biggest issues of our marriage that we had to work on was how much we could depend on the other person to fulfill our need(s) at any given time. For example, there were times that I would get upset because the hubby did not want to spend the evening with me watching a movie because he wanted to play video games with his brother. I was bored and I was expecting him to keep me from being bored. Eventually, I realized that I needed to learn to be less dependent on him and since then I have done just that. 

We've still had a few problems here and there but for the most part we have learned to balance each others needs in this area of our marriage. Now that the hubby is living in another state for work related reasons, I am so glad that I worked on this. I have had to be even more independent from him and though I don't always do it with a positive attitude, it's not overly emotional or anything. Also, despite the distance, our relationship is more fulfilling and we have drawn closer together. When we are back in the same state, I do believe that we will be more productive adults and we will be able to have our needs met without burdening each other, while at the same time, continuing to draw closer to each other. 

I bring this up because of a post I read on Simple Marriage entitled  "Is Your Marriage Too Close?" 

"When couples co-create a co-dependent relationship in which they strive to complete each other, they kill any chance of having any kind of evolving, passionate, fulfilling relationship.

A mature adult is someone who takes responsibility for getting their needs met." 

Reading that quote, some people might assume that the author, Dr. Corey Allan, is giving them permission to do whatever it takes for them to get their needs met. As in, if your sex needs aren't been met, feel free to have sex with some other person who pays more attention to you and makes you feel sexy. But I don't think that is it. I believe that he is telling us that there are areas and needs in our lives that can be worked on and fulfilled outside of our marriage. If we can learn to live independent lives from each other, those needs that should only be met in marriage will more easily be met and we will feel more fulfilled. 

 "Great marriages are the result of two mature, grown up people – both of whom have full, satisfying lives – cooperating with each other to get their needs met.

It is this kind of commitment to living a full life that helps maintain the growth in a relationship that is so important for attraction, passion, energy and great sex."

 I recommend reading the full post.

If you are not in a relationship or are not planning to get married anytime soon, it doesn't mean that marriage advice wouldn't be useful. I've known girls that can't seem to be happy unless they are in a relationship and each relationship ends up in disaster because the balancing act between needs never gets addressed and someone ends up the loser in the relationship. If these girls learned to separate their needs and self-esteem from their need to be in a relationship with a guy, things would be much easier for them. This problem can be worked on in marriage, as it has been worked on in my marriage, but it could also be addressed beforehand. Thus I believe that marriage advice is not just for married people, as weird as that may sound. 

Any thoughts?

P.S. Sorry if the font and spacing seem a bit off. I am having major trouble with Blogger tonight and have no patience left for it.  

Tonight I Am Enjoying....

Have you seen any videos by Lindsey Stirling? While I think classical violin music is very pretty, I love how Lindsey breaks from tradition and does everything from hip hop to country music. She has a lot of talent and is extremely creative. 

A Facebook friend posted this video the other day and I like it. I don't love Peter Pan but I love when people play on the theme as Lindsey does with this shadows video. 

P.S. I'm about 85% percent sure I worked near her at BYU. She (or whoever I am thinking about) worked for a different department than me but our computers were semi near each other. I remember her well because her unique style and sweet personality impressed me, as well as the fact that she dropped everything and went on a mission. And if it's not the same girl, well I am sure Lindsey Stirling is pretty hip as well. 

Veggie Laksa - My Epic Fail

Doesn't that broth look SO GOOD?

My sister and I decided to use the recipe off this website to try veggie laksa, a recipe that has been floating around the web and looks super delicious. Well to make a long story short, thanks to some miscommunication and a forgetful mind, I bought the wrong ingredient and totally botched the recipe.

We started out on the right path and the soup looked delicious from the start, but as soon as I tasted it, I knew something wasn't right.  It was super spicy and the Thai chili paste completely overwhelmed the coconut cream. I thought maybe we just had the proportions wrong. Maybe I had put too much chili paste in. Maybe I was just going crazy ... But it was too late and we had to eat it or toss it. So we ate it ... and it was painful.

I was very confused about how the recipe went so wrong. I didn't quit know what to expect, but I knew that anything close to what we had made would not be getting the same good reviews the recipe was. So I went back to the original source and there my mistake was glaring right at me. The recipe called for Thai CURRY paste, not Thai CHILI paste. VERY BIG DIFFERENCE! 

Let's not even mention how everyone in the household was coughing like crazy when I was cooking the chili paste. Or how a piece of chili went down the wrong tube and I just about wanted to die. Or how I never want to see chili paste ever again.*

I do want to have a go at this recipe again. I see the potential in it and I still think it looks extremely delicious. Not to mention how easy it is to make. I will let you know how it goes next time.

*When I was looking for this in the international food store, I saw the shelves of gourmet fish sauce (paste?).  I think I may now have to avoid any and all recipes that call for fish sauce. Just imagine little glass bottles with big dead fish in them. Barf!  I know that normal fish sauce probably doesn't have the actual fish in it, but my mind has already been tainted.