"No serious courtship or engagement or marriage is worth the name if we do not fully invest all that we have in it and in so doing trust ourselves totally to the one we love. You cannot succeed in love if you keep one foot out on the bank for safety's sake. The very nature of the endeavor requires that you hold on to each other as tightly as you can and jump in the pool together. In that spirit, and in the spirit of Mormon's plea for pure love, I want to impress upon you the vulnerability and delicacy of your partner's future as it is placed in your hands for safekeeping--male and female, it works both ways."
"Sister Holland and I have been married for nearly 37 years, just a half-dozen or so years short of twice as long as we have lived without each other. I may not know everything about her, but I know 37 years' worth, and she knows that much of me. I know her likes and dislikes, and she knows mine. I know her tastes and interests, hopes and dreams, and she knows mine. As our love has grown and our relationship has matured, we have been increasingly free with each other about all of that."
"The result is that I know much more clearly now how to help her, and, if I let myself, I know exactly what will hurt her. In the honesty of our love--love that can't truly be Christlike without such total devotion--surely God will hold me accountable for any pain I cause her by intentionally exploiting or hurting her when she has been so trusting of me, having long since thrown away any self-protection in order that we could be, as the scripture says, "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). To impair or impede her in any way for my gain or vanity or emotional mastery over her should disqualify me on the spot to be her husband. Indeed, it should consign my miserable soul to eternal incarceration in that large and spacious building Lehi says is the prison of those who live by "vain imaginations" and the "pride of the world" (1 Nephi 11:36, 12:18). No wonder that building is at the opposite end of the field from the tree of life representing the love of God! In all that Christ was, He was not ever envious or inflated, never consumed with His own needs. He did not once, not ever, seek His own advantage at the expense of someone else. He delighted in the happiness of others, the happiness He could bring them. He was forever kind."
I have not read the whole speech yet that I found this in but I plan to. Maybe you will enjoy it to.
I had never thought of relationships, commitments, and marriage in quite this way. We can't use what we know about someone to against them. In fact, we need to use what we know to help them at all times. I am glad I have learned this so that I can start working on this principle now.
Charity is not just about helping others. Its more than that and its harder to become charitable than many of us probably assume. Its the Pure Love of Christ. We have to be like Christ first which takes time, much prayer, faith, and action.
I had been reading about service and charity a while back and told Jon I would love to research it. I am so thankful I started reading Christ-Centered Living as it has been a good resource and will help me as I seek to learn more in the future. Especially since I have to give a lesson on Charity in July. Did I ever tell you how much I love teaching. I have never learned as much about the gospel in my life as I have since I started teaching. Its been awesome and I am so thankful for the opportunity.
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