Friday, February 20, 2009

I Am Such A Mental Case

Am I the only one that feels like I have mental issues and than feel like its a whole other mental issue to feel like I have mental issues? Sometimes I am so talkative, happy, and laughing at every time. Other times I am so quite and introverted its ridiculousness. Sometimes the most random thing can make me so uptight and upset. I guess people call that called mood swings but I have never been convinced they are actually healthy or normal. Another random quirk, if you can call that, is that I will become so obsessed with needing to understand something that I will research it for hours. Like tonight I researched the movie Push for 1 1/2 hrs to fully understand one simple thing about the plot. K maybe it was not simple because nobody seemed to understand it but why could I not accept that it just made no since. Sometimes I got for days without talking much because I just can't thinking about things and running scenarios through my head to fully understand something that does not need to be understood. Last night I dreamed so much I practically was dreaming when I was laying in bed awake for a few mins. With all this thinking that is going on why am I not a genius. I have getting in weird moods because I can never figure out how to get out of them or what puts me in them. I just want to be a bit more static or perhaps just figure out a way to control them. I want to feel a bit less mental sometime.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


So Valentines Day came and went and for the first time ever I celebrated it. Jon started it off on Thursday when he surprised me with roses that came with a very cute vase, teddy bear, chocolate and a balloon. It also had a very cute card which will remain secret.

Then on Saturday we went to Philidelphia. There we had lunch at an amazing restaurant called Jacks firehouse. I got a salad and crab cakes. Best crab cakes ever. It came with a spicy base sauce that had green peppers in it. So good. Jon got clam chowder that was amazing. He also got the chefs special for 20$. Basically the chef picks out a three course meal and its all a surprise. First came oysters or something like that. Jon automatically would not try them because of the horse radish on it. I tried to eat one but every time I tried to chew it the texture made me gag. Then he got sweat potatoes which he switched out for my regular match potatoes and pork chops which he liked enough to eat. Then he got a peanut butter cheese cake. He does not like peanut butter. So he did not really luck out. But the food was still really good.

Next came the Eastern State Penitentiary. We had went there in October for the haunted house and wanted to get the tour of the real thing. For those of you who don't know what it is, it is a historical penitentiary. Its historical because of the architectural design that was used. Also Al Capone stayed there for a bit though by the sound of things it was almost a party for him. Its structure and system was originally about solitary confinement so people could mediate on what they did, or in other words, it gave them time for spiritual reflection. By the early twentieth century solitary confinement was no longer used and they got such amenities as a ball park. The prison was never designed to punish and this was shown in the fact that they had heat and running water before much of the general public. In the declared a historical landmark in the 60's and abandoned in the 70's. I highly recommend going there. You can also get a packaged deal so you can have a meal and take the tour for a lot cheaper.

We next went to see the Liberty Bell and Constitutional Hall after which we walked around a bit staring at old historical buildings. Oh and we stopped by Christ Church where a lot of historical figures used to go there like Benjamin Franklin. We then drove home and watched Ransom, which was also very enjoyable. Thanks Jon!!!

But speaking of Jon and Valentines Day, another topic about love and relationships comes to mind. I brought up with Jon the other day how we are so different that it often surprises me when we find similarities between us. It kind of worries both of us I think so many I will dwell on the topic a bit.

I like to shop. My music changes with my mood so the range of music I listen to is much larger than most peoples. I love Asian Food. I like to read a lot. I like to go to dances even if dancing intimidates me. I love to debate. And I do not believe I am the smartest person out there.

Jon on the other hand hates to shop. He does not need to keep up with the latest fashion nor does he wear name brand clothes usually. He listens to relatively relaxed chilled music most of the time. He does not like Asian food that much. He doesnt mind reading but mostly sticks to books that help him in some fashion. He hates to debate but when he does he thinks he is always right.

He likes semi frilly traditional girls. Not those that shop all the time and are full of themselves. But those that are traditional and like pink and ruffles. Jon might disagree and I am not sure I ever am describing this right. On the other hand I like less traditional. He is the type that wouldn't mind and would expect the traditional wedding reception with lots of one color like pink and roses. I on the other hand want a less overdone, less traditional reception.

Basically we just have different ideas about life. What we like. What we enjoy. And who we are. Yes this worries me. "Do Opposites Attract" is the first article I ran into. It claims that some differences are good and others are not good. If a guy wants to watch sports all day and the lady wants to read all day that is not a good difference and may cause problems. But if they balance out each others faults that may not be so bad. It also says that "likes" have more stable relationships though that does not always mean happy relationship. The key is the willingness to be tolerant of the other person. "Do Opposites Attract or Do Birds Of a Feather Flock Together" brings up a good point and one that I firmly believe in. Many couples get together based on attitude and value similarities.

Me and Jon have similar values. We both have a strong faith and testimony in the gospel and have a similiar code of ethics and integrity. And thus our personality differences do not overwhelm us. We can deal with the other persons differences and give a little as long as we both have the same eternal goals and values. It has been said that you should be able to marry almost any member of the church and make a marriage work...or something like that. I believe that they mean strong, faithful members who hold to their standards and values because if both are, then it will be harder to break the bonds of marriage.

In the recently released movie Fireproof the husband got into pornography and the wife started flirting with a coworker. They strayed from their values and their marriage started to crumble.

I will try to no longer worry about mine and Jon's differences and instead focus on the my values and eternal goals.

Moving on to an even more emotional topic. I have to throw my favorite black flats out because I have worn them way to much and they are looking so nasty. I went to Nordstroms and got a new pair so its time. I have faith my shoes will make it to shoe heaven as they have treated me well. I will never forget them. They made my life comfortable and joyous.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Ditzy or Dumb?

“I think there's a difference between ditzy and dumb. Dumb is just not knowing. Ditzy is having the courage to ask!” - Jessica Simpson quotes

According to Jessica Simpson, I was a ditz today. I used to have a problem not being able to get the gas to pump for me at a certain 7'll near my house. I though I had gotten past that when a year later no problem arose and I used that gas station often. But today I was trying to pump gas at another 7'11 that was near where I was at. First I had to turn around to get driver side near the pump and this lady stared at me while I was doing it. And than I tried to pump and it would not go. Everyone at the pumps had left so I went in. I could tell the lady working did not want to leave so she said "take it out and push the thing out." I gave her a confused look and just mumbled okay knowing that her directions would not help me. Then she said "It does work." So after trying again I moved around to the other pump and tried again. Guess what? Once again it did not work and the directions I found did not work. A guy drove up but went in side so I was not able to ask him in time. Than a Spanish guy in a truck drove up and proceeded to wait for me to pump. Finally, and to decrease his waiting time I waved to him and told him I could not get it to work. Well apparently you had to take the nozzle out and than push up the thing the nozzle sits on. Oh so that's what the directions and the lady were trying to tell me. Needlessly to say I pumped the gas and left successfully. But that's not before I felt dumb and then got knocked against my car by the wind storm.

So with that was I dumb or ditzy? I consider that being dumb because I did not know nor could I figure it out. Jessica Simpson though would claim I was being a ditz.

A disagreement like this calls for one thing, a superior source. According to dumb is lacking intelligence or good judgment or slow to learn or understand. Ditzy is eccentric or scatterbrained, or as used nowadays, stupid and scatterbrained. Stupid could probably also be used as a definition of dumb in which case that takes me straight back to the beginning.

Leaving the word dumb behind, I was not being eccentric, or so Id like to think, nor was I was scatterbrained. I was just lacking the intelligence and understanding needed to perform the job. So in my case I would say I was just being dumb. This is not denying that I am not a ditz sometimes but id rather not think that my moment today was me being ditzy.

Either way I learned relearned a lesson. Feeling dumb does not mean its not worth asking. I could have left and added more time to the time I had already wasted just to find another place I could get gas at. But I asked, I got gas, and I left to continue my day. A word of advice Jessica Simpson, you will always be dumb if you do not have the courage to ask.

I also learned today that there is still so much out there that I do not know. I am sure my future is filled with many more moments like the one I had today.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

25 Things I Dislike

I've decided to make a less positive list and see if I can easily come up with 25 things I dislike.
Here it goes:

1. most sitcoms especially those that are animated or have annoying liberal woman characters
2. apple sauce
3. Bill Clinton
4. crude humor
5. way to low cut shirts with nothing underneath.
6. gym locker rooms
7. people or objects that are moving slow when I want to go fast
8. feet (the good news is I am getting over this...sort of...nasty feet will always be nasty)
9. hair that's anywhere but the head
10. the supposed existence of global warming and Al Gore
11. people who protest outside military establishments and against the ROTC. oh and flag burners.
12. mushrooms and olives
13. the use of swear words in everyday language
14. rude people...i will mention no names here...
15. that cop who gave me that ticket for not having my lights on a few years ago.
16. pain...especially certain types of pain
17. how people think its okay to have sex with whoever whenever. its sad.
18. the noise of other people clearing their throat constantly. Learn to do it in the bathroom or be silent about it. especially in the movie theater.
19. overly judgmental people
20. stick shift cars. way to jerky and your boyfriend always has to grab your hand, let go of your hand, grab you hand, etc. b/c he has to drive.
21. Brittany Spear and Paris Hilton
22. my coworker accusing me of sleeping with my boss
23. teachers who can't teach and yet grade really hard. (I am not saying this b/c I may have gotten a unsatisfactory grade. I do love hard teachers. Just not hard teachers that don't know how to that one from science in high know who you are!!!)
24. debt
25. scallops

This was actually harder than expected but I am sure I will remember another 25 tonight while laying in bed.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


I need to slowly spend less time on facebook. But I still love facebook. So here is my ode to face book.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.(No tagging here you lucky suckers)

1) I tend to hit stationary objects more than moving objects. With cars, bikes, etc.

2) I have a much lower self esteem and am more shy than I let other people believe.

3) I have a hard time making girlfriends but guys are a piece of cake (and you can eat them too. j/k.)

4) I had an obsession with Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen movies

5) I took piano lessons for five years and dance for I forget how many years

6) I often seem to be listening when I am not and it takes me a long time to realize I am not listening (i missed many lectures that way)

7) I usually don't hate things as much as I say I do. I guess my definition of hate is pretty skewed positively (that made sense in my head so sorry if you don't get it).

8) My fav. colors are often those I hated the year or two before. I love you brown and purple.

9) I am trying to reform my habit of not ever reaching my goals.

10) I had a habit of picking up every piece of trash I saw on the floor back in 3 or 4 grade until some kid made fun of me in a friendly way.

11) Ive gotten hit in the face with many basketballs but still like the sport.

12) Team sports scared me but Ive become a lot more aggressive since high school

13) I am a list maker but they never help take the stress away. In fact sometimes I wonder if they stress me out more.

14) I know absolutely nothing about cars.

15) I didn't care about driving, in fact it almost scared me as may new things tend to do, so I didn't get my drivers license tell I was 18.

16) In one of my English Classes in Middle School I had my own special spelling words because thats how bad of a speller I was.

17) I have no rhythm

18) Its hard for me to stay obsessed about something beyond a week to a month. That keeps me from being addicted to things easily.

19) Kissing scared me because I thought I would suck at it so it took tell college to allow a guy to kiss me.

20) I hate taking out the trash but I don't know why (maybe I got scared from that boy in elementary school).

21) Ive never smoked, drank, snuck out of the house, went to a huge party, did anything immoral, or did anything else a "normal teen is suppose to experience." I feel pretty good about it....

22) I have a problem breaking curfews though

23) I was born in CA but lived there less than a year.

24) I just recently took time to reform the use of then and than in my writing as I always used them incorrectly. But i'm sure I still get the two mixed up more often than I think.

25) I abhore class discussions of any kind and debates about the death penalty that include scripture usage.