Wednesday, August 19, 2009

To Trying To Be Happy

Is it weird that I can't stop looking at this picture? That I really really admire this woman's back? That I want her back? That it makes me want to be taller?

I need to start going back to the gym again. It would probably help me feel less lazy, less tired, less emotional, and less stressed (and maybe get a back like that?)

Speaking of which, I've noticed that as I have gotten older I have been more emotional. And some days I am just straight out depressed. I thought I was getting better tell lately where I seem to get sad and depressed a lot. Sometimes for long periods, sometimes right before bed. Luckily sleep usually helps so perhaps its just how my body tells me I'm running it down. But I hate being depressed. Absolutely hate it as any person in their right mind would (but am I in my right mind? hum). I have even made a goal of being more positive but its hard when you feel sad. Perhaps when I start hitting up the gym again that will help. Or maybe I just need to make sure I get 8 hrs of sleep a night.

What about the fact that I feel fat though my weight has been down for the past months. Why do I still feel fat? Again I need to start going to the gym. Why is it a constant struggle to eat? I love food but food to me equals weight gain, at least in my mind, and at least since I lost weight. I will not allow myself to start having eating issues so I am telling myself right now to STOP IT. To bad the gym probably wont help this one since I have gotten good at depriving myself of food (not as bad as it sounds. I promise. I still eat and eat too many sweets).

Anyways on with the positive in life:

I saw GI Joe. Don't recommend it unless your a guy that watches things purely for action.

I saw Julie and Julia. I enjoyed it, Jon didn't. Chick flick all the way. But I am not sure I can recommend it because of the language. A bit much for me though my sister says she didn't even notice. But I do give it props for making me laugh a lot. Maybe I loved it lots because the younger girl reminded me a lot of myself, minus her cooking skills. That I am still working on.

My computer was near its destruction. You name a problem, it had it. Don't let your virus protectors expire. Jon was a saint and took a bunch of his time out to fix it. It works now. Whahooo!!

I made baked spaghetti on Sunday for the first time. No one complained, got sick, or died so I think it turned out okay. I made it as I make a lot of things. Look at a lot of recipes then just kind of put together my own based on those. I don't always follow measurements. Bad Cook! Anyways I kinda really enjoyed the meal. And it was fun having Jon's brother over for dinner since my dad and his family is gone out of town. I thought my family would scare him but apparently they didn't. Good sign right? It was actually one of the funnest nights I have had with the family in a while. It wasn't just dinner and run for one. Whahoo to family and food.

I got a cute pair of shoes in PA that I should post a picture of. They were 50% off or something. I wish I had a thousand dollars to just go shop with for once. Eh oh well. Better for my soul that I don't.

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