Wednesday, July 1, 2009

I Might Need To Be Put Into A Mental Hospital

I had a bad night of sleep last night, mainly because I kept having very vivid dreams. Most were just annoying but one was particularly bothering to me. All including very random people and very random story lines.

One dream I had, not the most bothering one though, was where my family was on vacation and we go and visit some ward for church there. It was really big and we were trying to find seats and end up sitting behind an old friend of mine, her husband, and her family. All I remember is feeling awkward at first. Then her mom gets up and leaves. And then Josh has this mini remote which he turns the screen on the stage to some random television show which is totally spiritually hampering in church. I got really mad and stormed out of sacrament meeting and was in the hallway. I was having trouble walking because I had just got these new shoes that were too big on me and I couldn't figure out why I had wasted the money on them. And when I looked at the bottom of them they were already really worn out. It annoyed me. Then I went outside and go to put these little pieces of papers with sayings and positive phrases on another friends car. This particular friend is one I have not talked to in forever. All of a sudden her dad is there in a truck and said he would give me a ride but first he saw some random hay or manure or something that still needed to be put in his truck to be taken somewhere (random I know).

I had another random dream about church but all I can remember from it is that a girl from church was suppose to help with something but she comes late. Her excuse was that she had camped outside with some people and meant to wake up to help but accidentally fell back to sleep that morning. Woops. I tend to have lots of dreams about church. I guess its because church is such a huge part of my life. Too bad so many of those dreams are sooo annoying.

The oh so crazy and not good dream I had was where my mom, my sister, and I go to Utah. I don't remember all the particulars but I remember enough of it for you to get the point. Apparently my uncle had called my mom and told her that he was moving to Utah and told her (probably in a joking manor) that she should too. So she quits her job and moves to Utah. At first I just thought we were on vacation until I heard that. Then I got really concerned about this because I did not know if my dad was coming, if he could quite his job, or what was going to happen in that regards. And then I was told she had called my dad and told him it had nothing to do with him, that the marriage had been really good, she just needed to do this. So basically it felt like she had left my dad and taken us kids with her. I got more and more concerned. When I went to bed I started mumbling something over and over and tears started to roll down my eyes. Then Laura comes up and asks to sleep with me so I let her in the bed. We start talking, and I tried to hide the fact that I was crying from her so she wouldn't cry, but then I start bawling. Right at that point I wake up but it felt so real that I had to think for a second and check the bed beside me to see if Laura was there. And my face was wet.


Ugh what a horrible dream. I would rather be chased by a million gangsters, mafia men, and zombies and be near death in my dreams, than have this dream again.

I really should start a dream journal. It seems I have crazy dreams at least 2-3 times a week. I am not sure why I have so many crazy ones and why they are so vivid. Maybe its because I watch crazy things like Harper's Island (so good) or maybe I just am plain crazy. Who knows....

I'm mentally ill enough to think I don't need therapy
Is this the case?

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